Why do I ride?

Mostly, I ride to train. I ride because I race. I took the weekend off from racing to attend my family reunion. I didn't race the Proctor Classic, much to my own dismay at the time. Saturday, in a women's category 4 road race, a racer was hit by a truck. I won't give details I don't know. You can read about it here.

I still get chills. My heart hurts for her family and friends and teammates. I think about any close call I've had or seen on any ride. I think about how nonchalantly we all suit up and head out on road rides and races. How dangerously I've seen riders take corners, blow through intersections, cross yellow lines. I think about it with a lump in my throat.

I've asked myself all weekend why I ride. Do I still want to? I have such a sick feeling about it.

I could fall down stairs, be in a car accident or whatever. There are millions of dangers involved in just living and I can't live in a padded box fearing catastrophies and germs. My ultimate conclusion is that I will ride and race and train. Just like I have been; but with a heightened awareness of consequences. I will ride and think about a girl I didn't know.